What Shall I Choose, if Both Are Good?

(On Philippians 1:21-24)

St. Paul once said that he was caught between two options.

“For to me life is Christ, and death is gain. If I go on living in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. And I do not know which I shall choose. I am caught between the two. I long to depart this life and be with Christ, for that is far better. Yet that I remain in the flesh is more necessary for your benefit” (Cf. Philippians 1:21-24).

We Christians also are sometimes caught between two options. If we had to choose between continuing to suffer something very difficult and going to Heaven, what would we choose? If we had to choose between continuing to work hard, apparently without success, for the establishment of God’s Kingdom in human culture and going to Heaven and resting, what shall we choose? What is the reason we want to keep working, or to stop suffering? What is the reason we want to go to Heaven? What is the reason that sometimes we desire the Lord to come back?

St. Paul teaches us today that even good things must be desired for the right reason. Or, perhaps better said, that something which is good in itself might not be good right now for me. Both going to Heaven and working and suffering for the Lord are, in themselves, good things. But I may desire Heaven just because I don’t want to carry my cross any longer. Or I may desire to keep working for the Lord because I expect some human satisfaction, or simply because I like what I do. Now, what does God want me to do? What would be good for me in God’s eyes? Do I care what God wants from me and from my life? What is my mission in God’s Church?

St. Paul’s eyes are in God and his heart is in God’s eyes. St. Paul is on fire for God and God is the only reason he can breath. Of course St. Paul wants to die to be with God! But not if God Himself wants him to do something else before the time comes. Paul wants what God wants. Paul loves God.

St. John of the Cross says that whatever we do is nothing unless we do it out of love for God (Cf. Ascent on Mount Carmel III, 30). He says this in the sense that the greatest works will be forgotten in Heaven if we have not performed them for God’s glory. Instead, the smallest work will be rewarded if it has been done for Him. What matters is not what we do but why, and for whom.

This is an invitation to transform our lives into a gift of love. Love should be the reason we do what we do. Love should be the reason we want whatever we want. True love should be the reason we live and we die.

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