Empathy and Mercy

(Fr. Andrew’s Homily for Sunday, February 4th, 2024)

Today’s readings invite us to reflect on the mysteries of suffering and mercy.

There is a difference between being empathetic and being merciful. A person may feel sorry, touched by other people’s misery and do nothing about it, or not even think about doing something. A merciful person, instead, is the one who, besides feeling sorry for his brother or sister, does something to help them or, at least, desires to do something, when they cannot do anything at that point.

Can someone be merciful and not empathetic? Can someone truly help their brothers and sisters without feeling sorry for them? We are not all made from the same fabric: we all have different degrees of sensibility. Some of us tear apart at the slightest touch, some of us would not be moved by an earthquake, and then you have all other degrees in between. So, being merciful is not a matter of having the ability to show strong feelings when someone is in trouble. What then? What is an act of mercy? Can an act of mercy be painless? Where is mercy from, if not the heart? What is the human heart?

1.  Too many questions, let’s take one: Where is mercy from? Why do we help people in their struggles? Someone may help the poor to feel good about himself. This one does something good but not for a good reason. Another one may help the poor because it is his duty. This one also does good, but not for the best reason. Mercy comes from feeling other people’s problems as your own problems. Mercy comes from loving your neighbor as you would love yourself. Mercy comes from seeing your neighbor as your brother or sister, as truly your brother or sister, or even more than that: you should see your neighbor as our Lord: “Whatsoever you did to the least”—to the suffering and the weak, to the outcast and the sick, to the hungry and the lame—“whatsoever you did to the least of my brothers or sisters, you did unto me” (cf. Matthew 25:40).

2.  We love Jesus, don’t we. We are compassionate for His sufferings when we meditate His Passion: for example, when we do the Way of the Cross or when we watch that great, astonishing movie, “The Passion” (directed by Mel Gibson). Mercy towards our brothers and sisters has something to do with that feeling. Now, is it my fault that my brother suffers? Perhaps it is not. But, would it not be my fault if I can do something and I do not? Perhaps, but that’s not the point. If you love Jesus, and you see Him falling under the cross, you suffer for Him, with Him and you step forward. You suffer first, because He has already fallen. But then you step forward so that He doesn’t fall again. And, perhaps, you end up suffering again, with Him: you both are carrying the cross now. Being merciful is risky.

3.  When people suffer poverty, for example, they have two problems: they need money and they are suffering for it. One of their problems is fixed with money. The second problem is fixed only with compassion. Giving money without compassion does not console the poor and will probably make them suffer more deeply. Receiving money from a man who does not suffer my poverty as if it were his own may intensify my feeling of being miserable. The same can be applied to taking care of the sick or helping out anyone who is in need of consolation. What they need the most is a wounded heart, someone who is by their side, as an equal, as a brother or sister, walking with them, carrying the cross with them, feeling their weakness as his or her own. “To the weak I became weak, to win over the weak” (1 Corinthians 9:22). Giving this compassion alone is sometimes better than fixing people’s problems. They may still need money but they got a friend. They feel loved: feeling lovable is the opposite of feeling miserable.

-  You want to be merciful? Give people of your time. Let yourself be wounded by their suffering. Let them talk and ask them questions. Don’t just deal with their suffering, take it in. Not too much, because if you take in too much, you are not going to be able to help them. Just enough so that you understand what they suffer, and what would it mean for you to be in their shoes. And then... love them. Nobody needs a recipe to love. If you are truly sorry for your neighbor’s suffering, you probably will know exactly what to do for them.

May God help us to be merciful, to come closer to our brothers and sisters, like good Samaritans of this modern age. And let us remember that one of the greatest sufferings nowadays is loneliness.

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