Wait... Wives What?

“Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22) One may object, why should you be subordinate to someone you love? This is why St. Paul adds, “as to the Lord.” We love the Lord and we also are subordinate to Him. True, sometimes we are subordinate to the Lord, not out of love, but out of fear. This should not be among Christians! Nor should it happen in families, that one is subordinate to the other out of fear. “Wives, submit to your husbands,” not to abuse or mistreatment!

True, it is better to obey the Lord at least out of fear than not to obey Him at all. Fear of authority can play an important role in our personal development. But we are all meant to overcome the stage of doing good simply out of fear of punishment, and pass over to the holy fear of the Lord. This “fear of the Lord” happens when we love God so much that we are terrified at the mere thought of displeasing Him with our actions.

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church” (Ephesians 5:25). Love goes both ways. We submit to Jesus but Jesus in turn gives His life for us. Jesus does not lord it over us, nor does He want His ministers to lord it over us. “Husbands, love your wives,” St. Paul doesn’t say, “submit them, lord it over them.”

And, perhaps to make clearer what this is all about, St. Paul begins by saying, “Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). Which is the same as saying, “love one another as Christ has loved you.” When you truly care for someone, you do everything you can for them. You serve them, you are attentive to what they want or what they need. This is to be subordinate in the Christian sense. Finally, with this, St. Paul is not rejecting natural hierarchy but transforming hierarchy into a personal relationship of love.

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