Who Tells You How to Dress or Where to Go?

 Jesus said to Peter: “Feed my sheep. Amen, amen, I say to you, when you were younger, you used to dress yourself and go where you wanted; but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go” (John 21:17-18). Jesus said this signifying in what way Peter would die. I think the words of Jesus can be applied to all of us in one way or another.

When we are young, we are focused on ourselves. As children, we need to grow, feed ourselves and take care of ourselves. But an adult, a mature person, is a person who is now able to love, who is now able to take care of other people; an adult is a person who is now able to have and face a social life.

But to love is to die, that is, it is dying to self-centeredness and loneliness and rising again to service and communion. To love is sacrificing oneself for the other. It is accepting that our way now depends on someone else. When we love in this way, we are no longer free to go where we want without permission; we are no longer free to dress in the way we want but someone else has a saying on what we wear and how we conduct ourselves before others… This is why married people wear a ring, and consecrated people wear a habit.

Since I became a priest, it's been the Church who dressed me and told me where to go. The church did not kill me, I married the church. Since some of you got married, there is someone else in the car, so to speak, and you either go together or do not go anywhere. When you love, you go to places where you otherwise would not had gone. But a man or a woman are truly free when they can love, not when they can go wherever they want. And you are actually free when you choose to love someone rather than just taking care of yourself.

God wants us to live in love, not in selfishness. The life God wants for us is beautiful, even if it implies sacrifice. Self-sacrifice is simply the price of love, and the pearl of love is worth it. – Fr. Andrew